More Puns

If a small grassy hill has a drop off. Is that a Knoll Edge?

Is the script for a horror movie called a screamplay?

Did you hear about the jogger who got hit by a hit-man's car? They say he was run-down and tired.

That's all for now I post these as I come up with them.

Warhammer 40K: Space Marine

I finally bought Warhammer 40k space marine. It‘s awesome. The game starts with an introduction of communications about a forge world that is being attacked by the orks and the fact that there are titans, the imperium of man’s ultimate combat vehicles, there and that they must be secured from the orkish hoard. To accomplish that goal they send in a vanguard of the ultramarines including Captain Titus who is the player controlled character. So Captain Titus controlled by the player lays waste to the ork waaagh until he finds a message from an imperial inquisitor from the ordo xenos telling of an experimental weapon that also cannot fall into orkish hands. Captain Titus immediately adds rescuing the trapped inquisitor to his list of things to do. He fights his way to the inquisitor and follows the inquisitor to the generator room of the manufactorum where he retrieves an unshielded warp power source. Upon reuniting with the inquisitor and his strike team they take the power source to a supposedly anti- xenos experimental weapon developed by the inquisitor to power it and destroy the ork invasion. The whole thing turns out to be a ruse and as the inquisitor is actually possessed by a chaos warp entity and the weapon opens a warp portal and allows the ruinous powers of chaos to invade the world lead by Nemeroth. Titus once again retrieves the unshielded warp power source and he and his comrades minus the hectic inquisitor escape and formulate a plan to destroy the warp portal using the titan that they had secured earlier in the game. The next part of the game has Titus fighting his way to the titan through hordes of the foul servants of chaos and the barbaric orks. On his way he is confronted by the warboss leader of the orkish hoard Grimskull who Titus dispatches after a difficult confrontation. Titus finally makes it to the titan and uses the warp power source to destroy the orbital spire that is maintaining the warp portal. Titus determines that the warp power source is too dangerous to be used ever again or to be destroyed and must be protected by his chapter’s Liberians. But on the way to a transport for extraction Nemeroth shows up and kills one of the space marines and takes the power source boasting of his impending transformation into an immortal daemon prince . Knowing that Nemeroth’s power will be too great top defeat if that happens, Titus resolves that he alone, having shown a resistance to the corrupting power of the warp must destroy him. Titus then proceeds to destroy Nemeroth and saves the planet in the process. Upon returning to base Titus is taken into the custody of the inquisition because they believe that his resistance to the warp influence is evidence of chaos taint.

Ok so here are my reactions first the game is awesome hack and slash button mashing. Next the story is fantastic especially the twist of the inquisitor being a heretic. Third the ending totally sucks but I’m sure that that was just to make it open to a sequel or a book sequel. Why does warp resistance mean he is tainted by chaos couldn’t he have the pariah gene or something. Maybe he is being protected by the emperor. Whatever, it makes for intrigue into the next game. I just like happy endings. I would give this game 4 of 5.

PETA Is Funny

hello interweberneters I just read that PETA (the link is to theirgerman website so use Google Translate) released a statement saying that Battlefield 3 allows players to brutally kill a rat with a combat knifeSo, my first reaction was; wow these shooter games are getting really realistic, then I said to myself, wait, what? peta is criticizing a game where the main objective is to slaughter simulations of human beings and they are getting all bent out of shape about a freaking rat! sheesh, people get your priorities straight, and if you are going to be idiots then where the heck were you when Duke Nukem Forever came out? Duke slaughters pigs and lizards wholesale or he shrinks them and grinds them into a bloody paste with his boot. What about the rats in DNF doesn't peta care about them. What can Duke do with rats in DNF? stomp em put em in microwaves grab 'em and crush them in his bare hands, and lets not mention the nuclear steroids he takes that were obviously tested on animals! WTPF PETA! Anyways when I read the article about it I thought wow Peta, always good for a laugh. Although I kinda feel bad laughing at them it is like showing a kindergartener a geometry problem and laughing at the look on their face. Well I thinks that is all my brains has for now check back later for more brain matter.

DOOM 2

Hi I’m Vince and right now I am going to tell you about my experiences with Doom 2 . I know, I know Id made the game back in 1994 but that doesn’t mean it is not awesome. Especially because I got it kinda free. So I learned that Bing gives out these point things for searches and other things on their website and they can be redeemed for cool stuff like 400 Microsoft points. So at the same time xbox live was having a deal where they were selling Doom 2 for half the regular price of 800 ms points. So subtraction and cool math stuff later I realized that I could buy Doom 2 for the 400 ms points that I had just redeemed from Bing. Hoo-yeah I think is what I said. Anyway I got the game and played it to death ha ha ha. I played all of it and it was cool I really like the super shotgun. The only thing that is lame is that the player cannot look up and down. The game has to auto-aim for the targets above and below which is stupid because it only has a certain range. So I played through all 30 plus 2 bonus plus 9 extra levels on ultra-violent which is one step below the hardest difficulty nightmare where the enemies come back to life when you kill them. It took a really long time, like two weeks, but I finally made it to the last level which is called “Icon of Sin”. Then I got stuck I can’t seem to get the stupid rocket to the bad guy. I played the level over and over and over trying (in vain so far) to get the achievement for beating all of the levels on ultra violent, but I can’t get it. I was planning on getting two achievements at once by beating the main game and doing it on ultra- oh you know, but it didn’t work out so I finally gave up and played through all 32 levels and beat the last level on easy or I’m too young to die in about 2 and a half hours (shrug). All in all the game was really fun. The end

Pun: is a form of word play which suggests two or more meanings

What do you call angelic furniture polish? Cherub get it? chair-rub
Are focus groups people who work on glasses?
Did you hear about the new nation in the condensed soup aisle? They just got finished writing a re-constitution.

some more video game reviews

Ok I am finally going to talk about the three best demos I played: A World of Keflings , Warhammer 40k Space Marine , and Tetris Splash. First a world of Keflings, awesome you play as your xbox avatar as a giant in a world with little people called Keflings that you can task to gather resources to build them things like a house or a workshop or anything else, it kinda has the feeling of Minecraft in the constructions part but it seems like a mix of an rts and a open world building game, very, very fun. I spent about 40 minutes on the demo and had a great time with it 4.5 out of 5. Next is Tetris Splash and I really don’t need to say anything about it, it’s Tetris the classic block stacking game with an ocean twist 5 out of 5 you can’t go wrong with Tetris, ever. The best was saved for last Warhammer 40k wins all by itself, amazing universe, all previous installments such as in dawn of war and all its expansions and sequels are awesome. But the demo was awesome too. You are a super powerful space marine with a sword that is also a chainsaw cutting your way through waves and waves of pitiful green Orks but it isn’t all the same thing cause they throw Nobs in, which are the bigger bader and angrier orks and are harder to kill, to mix it up. My favorite part is the face that you regain health but executing stunned enemies just like in Duke Nukem Forever which is the best way I have ever seen to regain health. Health packs and hiding behind cover like a pansy to regain health are both for sissies, crushing enemies beneath your boots is the real way to regain health. This demo was great I am probably going to buy this game. 4.5 out of 5.

Radio Add Videos

these are the five radio adds that my dad recorded for Five Brothers Discount Flooring, LLC they are all really funny but the second one is my favorite
this is the second one

the first

the third

the fourth

the fifth

and a copy of the first one that i made with legos